yayayyayyy

this is what we look like at the end a good the night.

sex. drugs. and rock n roll.

well minus the sex and drugs.

mission possible.

i went on a 4 year accessory girlcott.
i stopped wearing pretty much all jewelry.
it became a "ehh i'd rather just buy a shirt and save the rest"

but for some reason...i want nothing more than to put on lipgloss.
maybe a nice necklace.
or other days when i wish i had 30 rings for each finger.
:( but i don't have any
so now i need rings. and bracelets. and necklaces. hair bows. hair ties. brooches. hair pins. armlets and bangles. anklets. no toe rings.pins (etc if there is anything left--that i like)
i am on a major search.
keeping my eyes open for shiny things.

along with shoes. shoes. shoes. shoes. shoes.
i have whole heartedly indulged in clothing and have neglected my feet long enough.

mine.

omg. that's my bracelet. too bad clarice as held it captive.

but at least i know i have worn this exact bracelet.

it's nice outside.

go pick some flowers.

another daily cougar moment.

jake: travis this krazy glue hasn't all come off
jarrad:try a bath.
travis: or a brillo pad
jake: or i could just put paint thinner on my arm and set myself on fire. how about that?

last week of school

drama → character analysis. evaluation. costume design. memorization of lines
during class. i shall be playing mrs. hale in a skit trifiles

creativing writing → porfolio (5 original poem and 5 revisions -2 drastic)

structures of poetry → NEED BLUE BOOK FOR FINAL. memorize "this be the verse" by philip larkin. poetric terms. and critical analysis of unknown poem. 6-8 page paper on the musicality of emily dickinson

visual studies → 3-4 page paper along with a slide show windows media project.

media writing → final over 4 chapters

if only...

if i could fall in love

i want it to be ache and burn

if i could fall in love

i want it to rain when you're away.

if i could fall in love

i want to retweet all the @iheartquotes messages

if i could fall in love

i would want it to be on a wednesday
so that the week goes by faster and i have
all week to think of seeing you again on monday.

if i could fall in love

i want to wake up to chaka khan hitting the
high note on "sweet thing"

if i could fall in love

i want my love to put hello kitty band-aids on the cut
or lay on the concreate and bleed out on the pavement

ode to green tea.

arizona green tea

without you,
i'm not sure where i would be.

i give the clerk $0.99 and get
23 fl oz just for me.

free flowing swirling
just to return to normality.

on a bad day
you're my remedy.

sometimes while drinking it gets so intense
i must find some privacy.

i wish i could live

inside a metaphor.

dear stockings,

if i ever find you. the game is in trouble.

drop it down low.

i wonder how many forever 21 acid booty shorts were sold in houston.

there must have been a surplus because i see them everywhere.

maybe a truck was turned over on 59 South and i missed it.

it's cute. don't get me wrong. cute indeed.

there are just a million.

roy cullen.

bright-eyed beauty.

basic. start from the base and motion left-to-right. (wiggling separates lashes.)

for thicker eyelashes holding your mascara in a horizontal position.
for longer eyelashes hold your brush in a vertical position, apply your mascara pulling the brush up, this will feel odd at first but it defintely works.

if you're like me you want it all [thicker and longer eyelashes] alternate both techniques. doing multiple coats. let the mascara dry - a little- so you don't have one big cakey mess!
Or mix lengthing and volumizing mascaras. :D

many (experts say not to but...what do they know) to capture the ends. blink into your mascara.
the experts also say not to put mascara on your bottom lashes....but if you want a WIDE EYE twiggy.




avoid clumping....
use an eyelash comb or wipe the mascara wand on a tissue and comb through with brush.

EARTH DAY

i think i'll OD on fashion.

heart

everyone meet chris. chris is my english bff this semester.
i sit near him in creative writing:poetry
and behind him in structures of poetry (to properly hide from our teacher)

chris hears all the little things i say under my breath.
the things no one should hear me say because it's usually making fun of someone or expressing my desire to be else where at the time.
and that's why he's so cool.

chris just laughs.

does chris know he is my english best friend forever. no.
and that's why our bff-ship works so well.

cater to who?

the lyrics to the popular destiny's child song cater to you

"Let me help you take off your shoes, untie your shoe strings take off your cuffliks.
What you wanna eat boo let me feed you,
let me run your bath water whatever your desire I'll aspire you.
Sing you a song turn the game on I'll brush your hair Help you put your do rag on."

now all of that is all fine and dandy (and what not) but pardon me when i ask WHAT THE HELL?
was it her day off of work and she wanted to do something special?

as a female student i know that in 2010 women are more likey to graduate from college giving them a leg up on finding a job. which is exactly what i plan to do

when is HIS night to cater to me? ---everyday. visa versa. take turns. something.
my husband will be taken care of, but this will be a team effort.
he can be king and all that jazz, but i am queen elizabeth I and i say,
"honey could you please put some clothes to wash."

we both take care of the home. the kids. and dorito the kitten.
i am not suzy homemaker and this is not the 1950's
as far as we have come and grown as a people, we still hold on to these old ideas of women in society.

what about every learn how to take care of themselves and not expect a woman to do it for you.
i will cook. wash dishes/clothes. dust. vacuum. clean toliets sinks. etc

and he will cook. wash dishes/clothes. dust. vacuum. clean toliets sinks. etc

i'm talking about a 50-50 love.

happy april 20th

if you haven't noticed the calendar today is April 20.

today can could mean different things depending on the person you ask-- for some it is the biggest counterculture holiday referred to by followers as simply 4/20 or just another tuesday to get through.

4/20 was started by few kids at san rafael high school in 1971 that would gather at 4:20pm to smoke marijuana. for many college students...it doesn't matter the time of day to light up.

for people like me it is just another tuesday to get through. in class from 10 am to 4 pm and start working on my final papers for the semester.

girl fail.

it started as me asking one friend how do girls act? after his response. i decided to ask another guy.
then another guy then two girls. and these are their responses.
people tell me all the time i don't act like a girl. (or in my words failing as a girl) or i do act like a girl..and i'm just a weird girl.
i'm trying to learn about the the perfect hair. the perfect make-up. the perfect presence.
but there is more than that. i wanted to know how we all see "girls" how do we describe ourselves?
some people describe us in relation to men. characteristics. etc

first innocent guy
girls are losers... but there are a few special ones
they act snobby
finnicky
emotional
irrational
but they're attractive so we accept it

experiemental guy
Emotional
idk u gotta base it on somethin
it's too many types to break down
i mean u got the woMAN who's independent to the max and loves to show and tell everybody that she is
then u got the girl who needs a man to feel like she is something the one who always has a man and post stuff like missing him or i love him after a couple of weeks
then in college this is common
the girls who is so focused on skool and determine to be successful and wont let anything distract her from reaching her goals but forgets to live on the way and that the journey is an inportant part of it
then you got the girl who swears she is high fashion and cares about how she looks and what ppl say about her all the time
it’s deep man it’s deep lol
Im in a never ending path to try and understand the female mind set myself
lol
or at least i think its deep it might be simple and im just makin it complex
who knows


next guy
different girls act different ways
but in general yall like to play games
yall secretly hate eachother
yall are knivin
triflin
petty
at the same time yall can be great
kind
"just wat the doctor ordered"
its complicated
yall are complicated
theres a certain mystique that characterize girls, yall will continue to forever elude the minds of men
yall are sneaky
yall ack like yall dont knoe, but yall knoe
nd sometimes yall are genuinely naive
yall think yall knoe, but yall dont

a girl perspective
meagan dats like not a real question
like umm girls are girls like wat u tryna find out
girls are difficult

last girl
like hoes and sluts
me: so you’re a hoe and a slut?
You heard it from the horses mouth
(i'm almost certain this was a joke)

:(

i have no new gossip girl to look forward to when i get off work.

but there is the final episode of rupaul's drag race.

i'm not a fan of settling.

define.

urbanite: (n) a person that indulges in nightlife. enjoys music that is lyrically inclined. participates in culturally stimulating activites. not to be confused with a socialite.

have you heard?

people in college do date!
so girls everywhere no longer have to settle to be someone else's main.
sounds crazy...you must not be apart of the urbanite community...
i was told people in college no longer dated.
URBAN LEGEND.
they do. walk around campus.
everyone is lovey dovey: holding hands. stealing kisses as they part for class. just constant pda.

so if you're looking for a relationship....

go out. go date. don't let anyone convince you it can't happen now.if they do tell them.

it's ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

banksy.

wthell people

it was as if the world was trapped
in a real version of the movie john tucker must die
except the john tucker wasn't
an athlete or white.
and yet girls were flocking to him.

glad it's not me.

lapse.

so what's the deal with airline food??

hmph. revise vs?

i think i'm going to try to recreate these types of images
for my visual arts project images that lie
since i did terrible the first time :D

over and over.

"i'm a recovering undercover over lover. recovering from a love i can't get over.

i'm a recovering undercover over lover. and now my common law lover thinks he wants another."

going gaga.

an original.

Girl in the White Dress

I met a girl at a well.
She had on muddy converse that were worn to the sole.
I watched her as she tried to paint the Sky,
in hues of apricot & eggshell

staying inside the lines and the bounds of nature,

delicately stroking the horizon.
Her hands meticulously cupped each cloud,

cradling the cotton candy and twisting it in place.

I met a girl at a well.
She had on muddy converse that were worn to the soul.
And I could see the Breeze move through her,
entitled to her open skin

like an angel’s breath.

But I couldn’t exhale
her eyes danced as I slowly approached

And the deep opals captured me in her gaze.

I once met a girl at a well.
Her skin told a story in the Wind

I never caught her name yet I knew her story

Stainless white dress

I never caught her name but I remember the taste of the air

they think i'm weird,

but i'm the one with the antidote.

if you missed me do the seagull at lunch.

me likey zoe-y.....

when it comes to the "good genes" breeding a rock 'n' roll guitarist like lenny kravtiz and an '80s style icon such as lisa bonet could make any child the hybrid of envy.

what more can i say than zoë. with her mother's good looks and style combined with the muscial talent from her father,least we forget her grandmother roxie roker who co-starred in the sitcom the jeffersons, zoe kravitz is not the typical "hollywood brat" basing her reputation on "mommy" and "daddy".

this 22 year old is making her own name in LA and blazing the trail with her innate fashion sense. in 2007 miss kravtiz was first able to showcase her acting talent in the movies no reservations alongside catethrine zeta-jones and is to appear in four movies this year. zoe also sings lead vocals for the, other wise all male band elevator fight.

kravtiz told good morning america report stephanie sau, "i want to deliver and i want the respect that any other actress in the word -or singer."

you can also see zoë's face in the mist of magazine ads and billboards as the face of vera wang's princess fragance.

this girl's talent is undeniable, but her style is what keeps the fashion magazines intrigued. like her mother, kravtiz likes talking her hippie retro style to the streets. her blunt bangs and flowing hair can be caught on many style pages.

i hope to see more from her this year.

peace.love and chicken grease.

yay..cause you let me be myself.

blog number 100. #ping.
....it's nothing special.
i have faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar to go.
dear html, why do you hate me so?
we could be such good friends.
work with me here.

say werd?

i begin to weep.
for all the things i don't know
for all the thingsi'll never know
for my small voice
in such a noisy hall

see me crutch deeper
in my seat
i sit behind the biggest person
so that i achieve invisibility
wants and hates
i disappear willingly
without a fight
you'll forget me

i'll look at my shoes

save the drama for your baby mama

...people like to watch bad stuff...

that's why many watch soap operas,
and cause more traffic by looking at accidents.

i watch: gossip girl. 90210. secret lives...

i love seeing the good moments, but i stay tuned for the scandals.

my friends and i talk about the characters as if we knew them.

and as much as i want lillie and rufus to work,

serena to stop messing up already dramatic situations and blair

to just be nice, we wouldn't be glued to the fourth season if

it it was all sunny skies and batting eyelashes.

so let the backstabbing commence.

who's there?

you can't demand entrance into someone's heart.

all you can do is knock on the door and wait from them to answer.

never try to force your way in,
because the next time you arrive they may have
dead bolts. a barbed wire fence and a pitbull guarding the fence.

have faith they will answer.

#POW

i took good ole jimi hendrix off my phone wallpaper for this.
i wrote part of my visual studies project in this picture.

you have the slender child with make-up on standing in the foreground with a bikini on

and the chubbier child with a tee shirt sitting in the pool.

this photograph is obviously taking the liberty to insert the photographer's insight on the youth of today.

to me it is a social commentary on young girls -the two sides of the coin:

the conceited and the lazy.

the myth that smoking with curb your appetite and you will lose weight is being portrayed through a young girl in this picture and the laziness that has taken over causing an epidemic of childhood obesity in america.

while each of these girls should be enjoying a day in the pool, instead the depicting what many adolescence and adult women go through everyday.

lowered self-esteem and social pressures to look a certain way continue to increase as the subject's decrease in age.

now 8 year olds are looking in the mirror and pinching "baby fat" and feeling obese.

and who is there to comfort them?

the women that complain in front of them about their physical appearances unaware of the effects it has on the children.

"do what i say not what i do"

it doesn't work.

we learn by watching. it's called SHAPING.

if we see our mother obsess about losing weight, hair and make-up

we learn that we should be skinner and pretty and shiny too.

to change these girls. we first have to change ourselves.

SHOW THEM that we were all created a God that made us in His imagine.

let them know, you look beauty in a paper bag.

stay in school get a good education. and love yourself.

my thoughts on...

it's for the:

• nosey.
• bops. (those who bop or like to be bopped on)
• sadistic.
• or people like me that are looking for a laugh at someone else's expense.
  

easter, not in order.

big to little. easter (cont.)

joke of the day.

a bear walks into a bar

the bartender asks, "what will you have?"

the bear says, "a gin..........................................................................and tonic."

the bartender ask, "why the big pause?"

the bear says, "i'm a bear, duh."

eff you that's pure comedy.

allen if you nasty.

sealed with a kiss

yesterday

left impressions that last longer than
puckered lips
leaving laminated kiss on porcelain dolls

(for tonia...a piece of a poem i wrote)

i'm not sure what it is,
but once i kiss somone i can't stop thinking of them.
it's as if once our lips touch,
my mind replays it over and over.
and i'm constantly being reminded of them.

sometimes it's a pleasant thought.
and sometimes it can be obsessive and destructive.

this is why i keep my lips to myself. lol

crush.

read the book crush by richard siken

Saying Your Name

Chemical names, bird names, names of fire
and flight and snow, baby names, paint names,
delicate names like bones in the body,
Rumplestiltskin names that are always changing,
names that no one’s ever able to figure out.
Names of spells and names of hexes, names
cursed quietly under the breath, or called out
loudly to fill the yard, calling you inside again,
calling you home. Nicknames and pet names
and baroque French monikers, written in
shorthand, written in longhand, scrawled
illegibly in brown ink on the backs of yellowing
photographs, or embossed on envelopes lined
with gold. Names called out across the water,
names I called you behind your back,
sour and delicious, secret and unrepeatable,
the names of flowers that open only once,
shouted from balconies, shouted from rooftops,
or muffled by pillows, or whispered in sleep,
or caught in the throat like a lump of meat.
I try, I do. I try and try. A happy ending?
Sure enough — Hello darling, welcome home.
I’ll call you darling, hold you tight. We are
not traitors but the lights go out. It’s dark.
Sweetheart, is that you? There are no tears,
no pictures of him squarely. A seaside framed
in glass, and boats, those little boats with
sails aflutter, shining lights upon the water,
lights that splinter when they hit the pier.
His voice on tape, his name on the envelope,
the soft sound of a body falling off a bridge
behind you, the body hardly even makes
a sound. The waters of the dead, a clear road,
every lover in the form of stars, the road
blocked. All night I stretched my arms across
him, rivers of blood, the dark woods, singing
with all my skin and bone Please keep him safe.
Let him lay his head on my chest and we will be
like sailors, swimming in the sound of it, dashed
to pieces. Makes a cathedral, him pressing against
me, his lips at my neck, and yes, I do believe
his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me
like stars. Names of heat and names of light,
names of collision in the dark, on the side of the
bus, in the bark of the tree, in ballpoint pen
on jeans and hands and the backs of matchbooks
that then get lost. Names like pain cries, names
like tombstones, names forgotten and reinvented,
names forbidden or overused. Your name like
a song I sing to myself, your name like a box
where I keep my love, your name like a nest
in the tree of love, your name like a boat in the
sea of love — O now we’re in the sea of love!
Your name like detergent in the washing machine.
Your name like two X’s like punched-in eyes,
like a drunk cartoon passed out in the gutter,
your name with two X’s to mark the spots,
to hold the place, to keep the treasure from
becoming ever lost. I’m saying your name
in the grocery store, I’m saying your name on
the bridge at dawn. Your name like an animal
covered with frost, your name like a music that’s
been transposed, a suit of fur, a coat of mud,
a kick in the pants, a lungful of glass, the sails
in wind and the slap of waves on the hull
of a boat that’s sinking to the sound of mermaids
singing songs of love, and the tug of a simple
profound sadness when it sounds so far away.
(continued....)

tweet vs text

i tweet a million times more than i text.

although twitter is a cheap, public text substitute. when i tweet, unless i @ someone, it's just me thinking online.

texting is impersonal. i would rather talk to someone and connect with them on an audio level.

you know?

and usually when i receive a text i look at it and for some reason i don't immediately respond.

and forget to reply later.

that's why many people don't text me.

although i grew with with this technology, it is still foreign to me

texting random "friends"

checking up. saying hi. wsup?

it is awkward.

relay blues.

so i went to the galleria. up and down westheimer. and somehow managed to end up downtown

as i mindlessly wondered around the galleria i stopped in aldo accessories a guy approached me.
and it went a little something like this.

guy: hi, what's your name?
me: meagan.
(looks away)
guy: oh well i'm ____
(blank stare)
guy: what school do you go to?
me: uh
guy: i go to hbu
me: huh?
guy: houston baptist
(looks at ring)
guy: what are you majoring in?
me:english.
guy: really...what do you want to do with that?
me: be a writer.
sales girl: can i help you two with anything?
me: no I'M just looking.

who knew this guy would continue talking to me. follow me to agaci. sephora. and walk me outside of saks as i made my escape out of the mall. for about 30 minutes.

as i was leaving i was thought.
we forget about the things we were taught as children like:
never talk to strangers.

life of a communter.