deer crossing

under construction. ideas brewing.

chic for cheap

so browsing through the online wardrobe instead of the actual store racks. i noticed that forever twenty-one (f21) has really diversified its selections (although i still feel people are lazy and copy these looks in anticipation of becoming a fashionista..when in reality they come off as a weak carbon copy) the reason i say this is because i understand using magazines for ideas, but when you aren't true to your style the end result is disastrous.
be original. be youself.
use the visual ideas and adapt to your own likeness.

ethereal ballerina.



rock star lifestyle.

pretty in purple.

it shows that looking good doesn't have to be expensive.

hi5

My hands have an amazing mixture of

Revlon Vixen nail polish, Maybelline Liquid Eyeliner and dirt.

I'm tempted to taste the concoction to see if it taste like dirty glamour.

(I've got to learn to take off the restraints)
I rushed to put on some make up to look half alive for class.

So for now I'll continue to walk to Art History.

Naked Grecian man. It's art.

And I still have to print my poem for Poetry class. It's art.

What can I say...I want to live the life of an artist.

Then I go to Communication Theory which is required

---hate that class.

Whoah!

How long has this guy been behind me?

I wonder if he can heard my mental notes...

I wonder what's on his hands?

(i feel asleep on my hand while studying)

in the shape of a heart.

the heart.
wikipedia describes the heart as a muscular organ found in all vertebrates that is responsible for pumping blood throughout the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions.
wt-hell does wikipedia know.

emily dickinson is more qualified with matters of the heart.

Heart, we will forget him,
You and I, tonight!
You must forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.

When you have done pray tell me,
Then I, my thoughts, will dim.
Haste! ‘lest while you’re lagging
I may remember him!

it seems as though everyone is afraid of the heart. it makes us all feel things that cause our chests to ache. there is this hollow filling that you get and this idea that it could never be filled, and you must accept the fact that you could never be whole again.

college: the place where relationships go to die
to me boys are the most afraid. they mask these feelings by having meaningless sex with multiple partners and basically becoming robotic by expressing no type emotions toward the females. (i laughed too)
girls seem more willing to subject themselves to the possibility of a relationship, though recently i've seem more females feel the need to "not give a damn"..and acquire bad reputations in the process. (double standards..hurts don't it)
but i honestly feel if people would reduce the amount of meaningless encounters with the opposite sex they might be able to find that one person that completes them. that complementary someone that will be there other better half.
it's extremely easy to have that "eff them hoes" mentality and to "role solo"/"one deep" but those people are scared. they would rather feel nothing to dodge the possibility of pain. fcking without true feeling.

if this doesn't stop we are all going to be 30 searching eharmony.com archives for someone to love us.

global.warming.lives.

so the rain come-th down from above.

it was fine at wednesday's winter wonderland.

i prefer a s s i m i l a t i o n snow and cold

i live in houston and for the first sixteen years of my life

-the weather was cool-

these last 3 years the polar ice caps are melting into my city.

this is how i viewed the real snow friday-my first thought when getting out of the car was "oh, was it's not like rain i don't feel anything"second thought "oh hell no, my entire coat is wet" this followed several tweet expressing my displeasure at the fall weather.lol(i would have liked it much better is there was funnel cake)

my guardian angel kept me safe on the road though

innovation is key.

well. i've been pondering the direction my blog would take. i love love fashion though sometimes comfort beats couture for me i have considered the idea of transforming my blog into a entry by entry magazine, by incorporating different aspects of what a magazine on the rack would contain.

» lifestyle. » relationships. » beauty. » fashion.

pretty much the things i've been discussing, but more focused and refined. i feel as though my blog should mature as i do. and as i learn more about journalism and html my blog will flourish and be something i can be proud to show off.

i have a few ideas on little things i would like to try... an idea in particular is going on a style watch, which would include taking pictures of people that are wearing a mind-blowing outfit. anywhere. anytime. male. female.sexy kittens. it's pretty much me and my iphone or my nikon whenever i stop being lazy and bring it. i probably should start saving for camera number 7 and put it in my bag.

i would continue posting random poetry i write or things i find around.

ie. Emily Dickinson #398

I had not minded -- Walls --

Were Universe -- one Rock --

And far I heard his silver Call

The other side the Block --

I'd tunnel -- till my Groove

Pushed sudden thro' to his --

Then my face take her Recompense --

The looking in his Eyes --

But 'tis a single Hair --

A filament -- a law --

A Cobweb -- wove in Adamant --

A Battlement -- of Straw --

A limit like the Veil

Unto the Lady's face --

But every Mesh -- a Citadel --

And Dragons -- in the Crease --

or even some of the random things i catch people saying or that i say. it's pretty hilarious.

ie. "i want to play sally's spa as i toss rasberry white and milk chocolate m&m premium candies while wearing long socks. not caring."

rai's new moon fetish.

i wasn't going to blog about the movie new moon coming out november 20th, approximately 12 days away :)... i can't wait. i've read the first three books. then wikipedia-ed the last one cause i couldn't wait to go to the bookstore to buy it. more taylor (jacob) less robert (edward)-- i enjoy the thought of reading vampire books for the werewolf [ohh.. that jacob].

the only reason i read the first book was because i was dead bored during the first few days of the aftermath of hurricane ike. i finished half the book before sunset and used my flashlight through the night. when i bought it i didn't know it was about vampires. i'm more into african american history books. so i put it back into my closet. during ike my sister was rereading A Lesson Before Dying so i decided to pull out Twilight. (thank goodness) i did,i fell in love.

(all i can say is i'm on...)

team jacob

it's the wolf pack. cliff driver.

picking scabs.

i am very ACCIDENT PRONE. cut. burnt. scratched. etci've been through it all

and have the scars to prove it.

each scar is another story.
alsoi like to pick my scabs.(gross i know)but it's something in the pain that makes me do it.re-opening old wounds. releasing the flood gates.

sometimes i pinch myself to make sure i can feel

place my hand on my chest to check if i'm breathing.

capture life.

so. i have been very busy. too busy to blog. too busy to breathe. i've even been too busy for one of my first loves photography.in the last 4 years i've had at least 6 cameras.i take them everywhere i go--which leads to tragedy.so i've been doing some field shooting with my iphone :)and these are just a few moments i've captured.enjoy.

mornings on the shuttle.

half sleep students. coming down from energy drink highs.

forced to touch strangers.
those are parking tickets.

uh--- home of the haters and cougars.

the party scene can make things foggy.

adorable asian girl.
i wish i could have shown her bow tie shoes.
so instead i got the bows on a balloon.



tehe.nap time.
just adorable.



college life.
(it's an iphone. focus ain't perfect)

got the boppers going crazy.

partying is such sweet sorrow.

yeah. scared me too.

outside the fine arts auditorium :)

random pink light among white lights in the c site

bang bang.

Rihanna's on the Chopping Block

so..we've seen her evolve her image and become this international sensation. with her revamed edgy look. rihanna seems to have gone from gradually fading singer to face/style of a generation with the snip of a pair of scissors.

instead of celebrating the release of her new single, russian roulette.she maybe forced to eat her words. written by ne-yo

Upcoming artist Tiffany Evans critiques Rihanna music and says that it could promote suicide and a demonic prescence.
in her words....
Satan was head of music in heaven. He uses influential people…to help influence the world. Think about that. Once u make a certain amount of money. Just know that that’s when they ask u to join. To get in you have accept the beast, worship. Once you join they assist u with ur career.make u huge.only if u agree and obey to destroy Gods word.and his children.

-my original though was it can't be that bad-
until i hear the song..

[Chorus ]
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

christian.santanist. jew. buddiest. muslim.
who cares we are all just people trying to differentiate between this life and the next
(depending on whether or not you even believe in a next life).

i promote individuality but what i can't stand by is her glamorizing such a dangerous deed as gun play as sport.
her audience ages ranges from 10-29 years old.
the decision to air a song with such a topic is irresponsible.

smooth like butter.

anyone watch lincoln heights on fox family, mondays at 7pm?
well, if you do you are probably just as mesmerized by the character cassie suttons's, real name erica hubbard, hair.
it's gorgous. and healthy.
j.e.a.l.o.u.s

I thought it would be nice to give some tips to my fellow black women on how to treat and maintain their hair, not only so it can be long but more importantly to be healthy. the best feeling is a head full of thick, silky hair that is actually attached to your scalp.

My Top Hair Care MUST

1. Be Gentle. don't just snatch your hair in frustration. the better you treat your hair the healthier it will become. your hair is composed of fine filaments strands. our hair tangles easily and we must be patient.

2. if you have a mother like mine you're told each night to "Put Something on Your Head." preferable a satin cap. many of the cotton on regular scarves and pillows we sleep on can be too rough for our hair causing split ends and stealing the moisture from our hair.

3. Stand clear of GREASE. yes i said it. it contains petroleum, sodium's & sulfates that can in actuality dry out your hair and make it stiff. Use Natural Oils like olive, castrol or grape seed oil which is light weight and can endure high temperature- which is great to avoid heat damage from the flat iron. 100% shea butter is also a good product.

4. Don't Neglect your Ends. we concentrate on our scalps. but we totally forget about our ends. they should be trimmed at least after every perm. (i know how everyone is about scissors near your hair)

5. Anti-Heat. minimize the amount of heat you put into your hair. i aim for once a week and the occasional curls to go without any heat. so satin rollers could be an option from a night.

i was some what influence by Chris Rock's new Documentary Good Hair

so take a look at the trailer.

to hov or not to hov that is the question?

so the mason finger pointing of the week is rapper and mogul Jay-Z (Shawn Corey Carter).

we bopped our heads to the song Hard Knock Life we watched as he evolved from a street artist into CEO into a fashion designer into a club owner into a shareholder in a NBA team into the top most successful hip hop artist/entrepreneur in America. and now that there are a few whispers that he is a member of the freemasonry fraternity people are plugging in their ears to get the dope beats out of their minds.
now, out of the wood work are conspiracy artist scrutinizing every aspect of his music and videos for demonic appearance. and you know the old say if you look hard enough, you'll find it.
i believe that's exactly the case. people have set out specifically to find any connection to the masons and they are finding it. i'm not saying he is/isn't a mason. I believe people's perception of the secret society is all wrong. how do you know they worship the devil? it's a secret. this organization has roots going as far back as the 16th and 17th century. but it also is centered upon many religious aspects that can be found in the bible. they have biblical rituals and are all invested in a supreme being. (i know, because i know people that know people *wink*) we see people on famous with mason symbols on their satchels and the eastern star symbol on their cars. these are people you know and love and see on a regular basis. do you think they are all circling around the fires asking the devil to help them in life?
one of the symbols i am familiar with is the unfinished pyramid with the eye on top, on the back of the dollar bills (as the picture on the left shows). which thanks to wikipedia i found out is called Eye of Providence. Many conspiracy theorist this image resembles the ancient Egyptian Eye of Horus charm of the pagan sun-god Horus. They also find correlation between the 13 steps, but blah blah blah right. So are people going to stop using the dollar bill too?? Will all god-fearing people need to carry around a sack filled with quarters from now on? My purse is heavy enough no need for that. Is that idea a little extreme? Maybe so. But the back of the one dollar bill also states IN GOD WE TRUST

A friend of mine also became concerned with the freemasonry society and its secretive activity and did some research and read every president expect Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy, who were both assassinated, were masons.
Does that mean we good Christians will be going to school on George Washington Day and Presidents Day? I know I'm sleeping in :) What they don't report in these articles is that James A Garfield and WIlliam McKinney were also assassinated. And countless other presidents like Andrew Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt, Harry S Truman, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Regan, George H. W Bush, Bill Clinton and George Bush (for obvious reasons) all had attempted assassinations. Check all the facts and data.

it seems when a black man sees a few dollars, gains prestige and has power, he must not be good enough to come into this on his own. he OBVIOUSLY had some help from the devil to make it. so who's next? Russell Simmons

well, it might be a little difficult to cuss people out, run a multi-million dollar corporation and take minutes all in downward dog.

we've found ourselves in a classic witch hunt. as humans we fear the unknown. we refuse to listen to jay-z and instead change the station to songs like graphically describe the anatomy of the human body like "shorty got ass for days" and "bitch better have my money" and turn our backs on the genius that is jay-z.
and i guess the russians HAVE come back to brain wash us all and turn us into communist...geez.

i think we should cease this nonsense. stop fearing the unknown. this is a secret fraternity. of course you are unaware of their activities. you people can't hold water. you're upset that these people are able to keep a secret and it's killing you. these people seem scared of something and deem any rumor as fact, that shows weakness.let it be. listen to jay-z don't listen to jay-z, but make the decision based upon the artistry and not some notion that he may or may not be a devil worshipper.

if you want my advice, you should have a coke and a smile (and continue to pray for yourself and others) and buy the new blueprint 3 album. :)

darn leafers.

please, let me know i'm not the only one that loathes winter/fall.

people that love the change from summer to fall confuse me.
as they sniffle and snort

we live in houston. we experience all these weather changes in one day during the fall/winter. so i am forced to witness people in tank tops rain boots and shades. it confuses my senses.

------------------------------------------

don't be fooled. i'm prepared. doesn't mean i like it.

i bought the cutest jacket at zara during the summer for fall.
it is to d.i.e for.
and i recently bought a new cardigan and a MJ jacket. :)
i'm still not looking forward to walking around in the cold.
but it's in Lord's hands of what falls from the sky

speak.

my mouth begins to tense as my mind goes blank. any chance of responding has simply gone away. searching my brain for the right answer. it fails me, once again and i f r e e z e. she talks all the time they may think, but in actuality speaking is not my strongest suit. i can write. write for hours and hours and let the ink SPILL out into an pathway of lines. the words never seem to match up verbally. a fort was built long ago, before anyone i know now existed. this fort built with materials not easily penetrated. sending morse code messages out to former occupants, no one could go in. securely locking the gate, i accepted those who had accepted me. loved me awkward. loved me different.

cvs/pharmacy how may i help you?

so since i been MIA for awhile i thought i'd tell a story from one of the main reasons i've been too busy to blog.

well i've worked for cvs for almost 2 years i took the summer off though. so whatever...

one day i was going to the stock room for a reason i can't even remember anymore and suddenly i felt something tell me to turn around. i turned back in tv slow motion and behind me was this giant bear-like pitbull staring at me. my mouth became dry and all that came out was a pathetic whisper elisa! i was stuck there. my feet had somehow rooted themselves in the floor and i could not move. out of the mist (created in my own mind) my manager, elisa comes and sees me and this beast and quickly opens the door and says shoo! shoo! the dog obeys and as it slowly made its way out the door. in its passing i was able to see that in actuality this was a lost, elderly dog with no where to go. and it saddened me. i have always had a soft spot for homeless people and animals. my grandmother would get so angry when i gave stray cats food and they stuck around long after i'd go home for seconds. that dog was just as scared and as startled as i was that day. i only wish that i could have given him a parting gift that he could have eaten.

all day i have people:

• ask where things are that are right behind them (toothpaste usually has a sign try looking up)
• mistake me for a pharmacist (asking which medicine is best. uh i dunno read the label match the symptoms.)
• ask "working hard or hardly working"
• throw change at me
• say i've added wrong when it's the register adding
• trying to hustle me with fake debit card buying 4 $100 dollar gift cards and i birthday card
• explain there purchases...so your cousin is coming into town and she always uses up your dishes so you came to cvs to buy plastic cups just for her...ohh well thanks for sharing i am a little intune with the world
• mistake me for a therapist..in the 45 seconds it takes me to ring you up.bag it. give you your total. you have told me your whole day. well that's unforunate.

let's make a date?

when did dating die? when did we start accepting less from the opposite sex? how did we all get hurt in the mist of trying to find love?

who do we blame? the men? women?

holding hands. long talks. the innocence.
are all these times extinct?

it seems that at a younger age we were more optimistic about love and relationship, that our prince charming and sleeping beauty were out there waiting for us to find them.

when did we all get hurt? and like a venus fly trap our immediate response is to close our hearts making it difficult for the next person.

why are there more questions and not enough answers?

short.hair.don't.care.

meet fo.
fo has short hair.
fo is beautiful.
and even though fo didn't win top model.
fo is fab-ulous.

in my research to discover why long hair is fawned over by both men and women. i stumbled over these theories.

"long hair requires substantial commitment of money, time, and daily care. such factors would indicate that a woman has a good financial status, self-respect, and concern forher overall health and well being. men may find longer-haired women more attractive because these characteristics are desirable qualities in a partner."

"longer hair helps to disguise less desirable features. long hair tends to make the jaw line slimmer and less prominent and draws attention away from undefined cheekbones. also, as described bymany men, long hair also contributes to a more feminine and youthful appearance."

so what does this say about women that prefer to their hair short?
→they are less attractive?
→more masculine?
→lack the ability to commit?

the characteristics can apply to anyone.

as a female that wears her hair short. i find many women find short hair [liberating]
going against the status quo of b.e.a.u.t.y
offering a new definiton to what is seen as aesthetically pleasing.

this woman has time to focus on things other than her hair such as, her career and romance. she is fearless. and does not hide behind hair hoping it will camouflage her imperfections. instead she embraces them.

hair does not make or break you. in the end hair is protein filament that grows through the epidermis from follicles deep within the dermis. --thx wikipedia.

never conform.
if you have long hair be proud.
if you have short have stand proud.
we are all beautiful.

and she has freckles.

lessons.to.lessen.the.pain.

why do we condemn ourselves to the heartbreak of relationships?

people beg for us to open up and be vulnerable. so we let them into our lives, just to prove what you already believed about human nature.
we tell our life stories.
we let them see us at our darkest hour.
to be betrayed.
let down.

why?
why date?
what's the point of it all?

don't we date to get married. no one at my age is ready for that type of commitment.

we fill ourselves up on other people's insecurities. gluttons for heartache. asking for heartbreak.

why should i be punished for saving myself from more agony and disappointment.
why should i be criticized for being introverted.
can you blame me for not wanting to converse with the enemy.

so much.so much to say.

how do we recover?
just close back up?
make it harder for the next person.
close up tigher?
become a brick wall.
learn?
allow ourselves to be placed in the same position.

rejection.

oh, to be a dumb girl. [part i]

girls are so silly. we do the most stupid things for male attention. we try so hard for them to like us, practically jumping through hoopps. even simple things like texting.im-ing.calling become complicated when conversing with the opposite sex. we try to reply just like you. we see the message AS SOON as you send it. BUT if we reply too slow we seem too desperate, too fast uninterested. so in our mind we must calculate the time it took you to reply and match that time and make it seem like a normal situation instead of an intense game of don't come on too strong or too carefree. in actuality we are just happy you took time to message us, and wish you would focus your attention on us. even for just a few minutes.

example i
look,
he's online.
ok act cool.
wait..what the hell,
he can't actually see me.
so...
when's he going to chat me?
he can obviously see-
i'm online.
cause i can see him.
...what's taking him so long?
ok,
maybe if i update my status
i'll be at the top of his newsfeed
and when he refreshes his page he'll see me.
damn.still nothing.
oh no!
he's offline now.
why didn't he message me?
argh..
i messaged him last.
it's his turn.
this is pathetic.

why do we torture ourselves?
why can't we change this way of thinking?
how come the rules can't change in our favor?

we can't keep subjecting ourselves to this heartache and headache. we can't teach our daughters that this is sensible and that this is how men and women are cursed to interact. this is merely a woman's defense mechanism, shielding themselves from rejection. and yet, in the end it still seems like we're losing. we must learn to dominate the situation and be more aggressive. not scare him away aggressive or constantly text/im/call (whatever your thing is), but just don't be afraid to call him first. or to make that first move. guys do like it when girls take initative once and awhile. be fearless. maybe one day i'll take my own advice...tehe.

must we continue to act out this melodrama to find love?

dedicated to: kaylyn&enih. for inspiration. arilla. she liked it. so i posted it.

god bless, the image consultant.

young hollywood.

these ladies maybe missing talent, but they can definitely dress. (:
the.socialites.of.today.

i'd like to see the university of houston red carpet.

the university of houston.

where pretty women flourish- and pretty, dumb guys reside.