rejection.

oh, to be a dumb girl. [part i]

girls are so silly. we do the most stupid things for male attention. we try so hard for them to like us, practically jumping through hoopps. even simple things like texting.im-ing.calling become complicated when conversing with the opposite sex. we try to reply just like you. we see the message AS SOON as you send it. BUT if we reply too slow we seem too desperate, too fast uninterested. so in our mind we must calculate the time it took you to reply and match that time and make it seem like a normal situation instead of an intense game of don't come on too strong or too carefree. in actuality we are just happy you took time to message us, and wish you would focus your attention on us. even for just a few minutes.

example i
look,
he's online.
ok act cool.
wait..what the hell,
he can't actually see me.
so...
when's he going to chat me?
he can obviously see-
i'm online.
cause i can see him.
...what's taking him so long?
ok,
maybe if i update my status
i'll be at the top of his newsfeed
and when he refreshes his page he'll see me.
damn.still nothing.
oh no!
he's offline now.
why didn't he message me?
argh..
i messaged him last.
it's his turn.
this is pathetic.

why do we torture ourselves?
why can't we change this way of thinking?
how come the rules can't change in our favor?

we can't keep subjecting ourselves to this heartache and headache. we can't teach our daughters that this is sensible and that this is how men and women are cursed to interact. this is merely a woman's defense mechanism, shielding themselves from rejection. and yet, in the end it still seems like we're losing. we must learn to dominate the situation and be more aggressive. not scare him away aggressive or constantly text/im/call (whatever your thing is), but just don't be afraid to call him first. or to make that first move. guys do like it when girls take initative once and awhile. be fearless. maybe one day i'll take my own advice...tehe.

must we continue to act out this melodrama to find love?

dedicated to: kaylyn&enih. for inspiration. arilla. she liked it. so i posted it.

god bless, the image consultant.

young hollywood.

these ladies maybe missing talent, but they can definitely dress. (:
the.socialites.of.today.

i'd like to see the university of houston red carpet.

the university of houston.

where pretty women flourish- and pretty, dumb guys reside.

to blog. or not to blog.

so i actually enjoyed my birthday weekend.

it had a surprise finish and everything, and i loathe surprises.

she was like a ghost from my past.
haunting me with her unparalleled beauty.
in her presence we were all first runner up, running away from,
her eyes- made of mirrors-
projecting grotesque images of unfamiliarity.
depictions of a lesser kind.
so, as she baits her eyelashes,
we momentarily escape the harsh reality.
hoping for an out-of-body experience.
allowing us to exchange bodies,
even if they only grant us cinderella restrictions

sweet lady.

when did the word hoe become synonymous with the word female?
we constantly see this...
in the media: music. television. everyday conversation.
guy's facebook status: trust no hoe. eff these hoes.
oh forgive me all females are whores minus their mother or sister.
sorry,
i don't accept the exceptions. we are all someone's daughters.


it kills me when guys want to have sex with all these females, call them hoes, and move on to the next female. then have the audacity to say-- i want to marry someone opposite of these things.
or i want to marry a virgin.
where? how?
it's hard to digest that you can have sex with multiple females and your friends have sex with multiple females.
--and yet there is still a virgin left in the houston metropolitan area
aren't you essentially a whore enabler
and what does that make the guy?
a sleezy opportunist or a whore
[but calling a man a hoe is redundant.] -it's the female in me :)


men and women are too severe on the opposite.
in the book of genesis.
after the world was created. man. nature. animals.
the plan was still incomplete.
until- woman was created.
men and women of today need to learn to get along.
we may never be able to completely understand the other,
but we can agree we need one another.

touching the intangible

searching through forever 21 online the knit burnout pocket tanks caught my attention. each with a different intangible noun on the front. going through the shirts i found it hard to pick one i truly wanted. i would be going around with this word on my chest, and although some people may not be paying attention or care, i would. this one tank top would represent me for the day, and i controlled what people thought i represented.

option 1 hope

definition longing. desire. blah blah

at my age it's perfectly fine to have hopes and desires but at my age i need to be putting these things into action. mobilizing my dreams and making them a reality. you've got to take each day and utilize it. {i want too much tv} almost 19. seems young, but i'll put in the leg work to walk up and down the houston area searching for any small position that could help me. {first i must detach myself from the tv. tv is evil} hope is beautiful, when there comes a time when hope just isn't enough.

option 2 imagine

definition without imagination there would be no possibilities.

i daydream all day long, i'm practically daydreaming right now. i'll live in lala land as long as i possibly can before the world comes and tries to take away the last piece of my innocence and naive spirit. it's where my ideas brew and simmer and i randomly blog about tank tops. my imagination seperates me from others. it's my drive. but i don't want to walk around only seen as a daydreamer, you must take your head out of the clouds and trade the shoulda's into gonna's.

option 3 love

definition didn't want this one :) yeah thanks whatever. though it would be a great romantic outfit....ok i'll rethink it.

definition
1. Faith inspires people to give their best: creative positive action in their lives and the world.
2.Without Faith nothing is possible, with Faith everything is possible.

this is the one i want. once you're done hoping and imagining you've got to leave it in god's hands and just have faith in yourself and your abilities. this is something i struggle with. when you chase your dreams you're more vulnerable to criticism and more aware of possibilites of failure. it seems so easy to be a nurse rather than being journalist. as if nursing schools are just letting in everyone..but it just more realistic and more attainable rather than working for vogue magazine. as my friend told me it should be easier to be a journalist because knowing this is my passion my heart and soul would be the added incentive to excel. once you've achieved your goal you can love what you do.

peace.

peace. not an option. although peace would be GREAT.

and strike a pose

oh to be still a teen. and to enjoy vogue. my best ideas come from this magazine. it's fresh. young. quirky. i n n o v a t i v e. just like me. and for my birthday the lovely editors have placed my favorite hogwart's witch, emma watson, hermione granger on the cover of the august issue.

photos: norman jean roy and danielle nussbaum fashion editor: havana laffitteblouse, brooches by d&g skirt by erin fetherston t shirt by 2k by gingham skirt by d&g bracelet by juicy couture
this issue also features this gorgeous number. arilla this is where i come up with my wardrobe. cute, i know.

t-shirt by topshop skirt by see by chloe’ necklace by erickson beamon for anna sui belt by calleen cordero designs jeweled and floral bracelets by erickson beamon wooden bangle by m. haskell beaded bangle by pono by joan goodman

also features the top 10 designers for the fall such as chanel. gucci.marc jacobs.burberry... and one being my favorites stella mccartney. her look is very young, fresh and au naturale. very easy for us young girls to replicate.

july babies.

this week both of my sisters will be celebrating their birthdays. i choose the christmas picture because these two look divine in our birthday stone ruby.

july 13- adele birthday

july 15- constance birthday

july 25- meagan birthday


i was actually suppose to be born on july 14th , but being a stubborn fetus inside a 35 year old woman i was born an amazing 10 days later (the day the doctor was about to induce labor). which is good because my sisters use to share and celebrate their birthdays together, but i came so much later that i was able to be the center of attention.

randon fact: me and my eldest sister are ten years and ten days apart.



as for myself.
i've never been much of a "birthday person".
i go along with the ice cream and cake tradition,
but i'm not into the whole celebration.
when it's a friend or family member's birthday
it's their day-
a joyous occasions to rejoice on being blessed with another year of life.
not so much with mine.
it's just another day-
i slept through at least 2 birthdays
it probably started because being a summer-born baby
i couldn't be with all my friends.
i never went around with the long money strip or a tiara
none of that it was just me and my family.
and i loathe parties
minus my discovery zone birthday!