i have 3 test this week. and i work 30 hrs
so im not gonna be blogging too much :(

but stay connected to me... by jammin what i'm jammin


the only thing keeping me sane is the tune-age

Meggos Boogie Down

erykah phase.

so i have had erykah badu's certainly and didn't cha know on loop for the past week

"who told you that it was alright to love me? certainly, certainly not me"

bring back the cardigan.

so me and the bgf, jonathan, wanted to post up and write randomly at 10 pm
so, i had a chance to bring along my new cluch that holds me notebooks perfectly :)
...but you know i was more concerned about the eating...

Before

After

pretty much nothing was accomplished. next time

got that glow?

Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon --1985
the best black kung fu movie EVER
....."Bruce" Leroy Green's the name
of this b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l man on the left
i even named my phone after the female love interest.
now the wanna remake it
wtf? how dare they?!
Samuel Jackson as Sho Nuff
and Rhianna as Laura Charles
please Hollywood don't crush my dreams
of Bruce Leroy
ahhhh......

ice cracking...

spring break has been.... up and down.

but it gave me a chance to write and hang with my girls
and to write




i would rather cry a million tears,
than to see one fall down your lovely face.
jeopardize my own sanity,
just to keep you with peace of mind.
treating your emotions like precious china
and lock them away for no one to break them.
bare the heartache,
just to see you smile
cause when you're happy
i can be happy.

the older the wiser
but with knowledge comes pain
so for tonight
just come fly with me
let the clouds craddle us
as we race through time
leaving behind the worries
play tug a war with the wind
then we gently float back
down to earth
where the line between
right and wrong is blurred
i want to save you
but i can't save myself
so we fall deeper
into the cracks

so as the seasons change
let us not repeat our mistakes
and as spring continues
let us blossom
and emerge from our winter slumber
presenting the beauty
that has been hidden for months

f.r.e.s.h

this woman is a genius
when i grow up i want to be her
i've probably dated all these guys.


OR THIS CHICK


she is my she-ro
she practically does everything i dream about
design clothing. dj. photographer. she has a kitten
i must touch her
[no homo] lmao hell lots of homo

giving you the eye

i'm not the one for the
fully engaged [eye contact] during conversation
it's all really w.e.i.r.d.
i did the whole eye contact exercise in drama
didn't work....

it's all so personal
to look into my eyes is to see
everything i've seen.
i'm trying to spare you the ride.
oh...and a ride it is.
a portal into my greatest fears
and momma always said
never let them know your weaknesses
they will use it against you
so i keep my eyes low
rather,
when you turn away--you can catch me
peering into your soul
&&piercing your mind

crash and burn girl

the appropriate song of the moment is
Crash and Burn Girl by Robyn

I should write a song about you
And all the shit that you do
You don't even know what's up
As soon as it's all crashing down


You should have a sticker on you saying
Warning! Keep out!
You're the kind of girl that
Mess you up for life



i feel like im under a magnifying glass
and the world expects me to be perfect
some stepford wife.....

so let me apolgize in advance,

i'm a total bitch.
i make fun of others...and it will probably make you laugh.
sorry.
i'm loud and if i call your name everyone else will probably turn around.
oops..
i'm difficult. very difficult. i do everything the hard way.
my bad.
my style is off to you normies..i wear things you'd never dream about in a million years.
my fault...
my mood changes constantly...happy.sad.tired.frustrated.excited
i didn't mean to....

none of this is my fault.
you live in a house where tears won't get you anywhere
3 other women and 1 bathroom..
if you speak you're mind you're more than likely to get yelled at for another 30 minutes

so i've learned to take alot of shit
if i'm cold i'll stay cold til i get out the car
if the music is too loud...i'll hum to myself and pray i can hear when i get out
i write
because it really is my safe haven
i'm not critized. not picked on. it's the only place i can express myself

sooooo......sorry.
we learn lessons to lessen the pain

i wanna go back to being that kid eating hot chocolate with bread pieces
at 6am in the morning with my pa-pa waiting for school to start

or wake up to the young& the restless on summer afternoons
cause my grandmother would let me sleep in

ahhhh.....

50-50

ok so i've had alot of my blogs just sitting in the draft
cause they were all half finished....
school's out and i have time to finsh
soo....here ya go



a wise friend once told me
love is:
constantly batting to see who loves the other more
at the time
i disagreed, but now i get it
[which ill never tell him to his face since we disagree on everything]
i took it too literal...
you've got to continuously show the other
how much you care
to keep things new and fresh
love can be boring
and seem too safe
[one of my fears]
i don't like to feel too settled
..and when things become tedious
people seek that trill outside the relationship
and that's when problems emerge


this all came to me becaue of this guy



good ole teddy pendergrass
my friend's words went to the back of my mind
until this guy was broadcasting on magic 102.1
"it feels sooo good
loving somebody
when somebody loves you back
and that's a fact
not a 70-30
not 60-40
talking about a 50-50 love"

old school music makes you think.

geez
but for now i'm more like the drake song "a little bit"

hands down i'm too proud for love
but with eyes shut it's you i'm thing of

wake up call.

ok this is been a bad start to lent
11 DAYS IN and

i'm still cussing like a sailor.
so i decided....

RE-DO!
i have had an epiphany...i must abstain.


→ No more cussing!

→ No more partying!

→ No more drinking!

[or just less]



it's been fun...but i've totally disregarded the entire point of lent.

it's about doing things in moderation...so no more excess



there maybe slip ups, but i'm ready to commit.

and....gossip.
i'm a real creole woman....soo...gossip is going to be a tough one.

i've always looked up to flappers....and hippies,,,,sidenote
and flappers are known for cussing.smoking.drinking.keeping their hair short.sitting in bars

marie rose.

i need a writing name...

i was thinking marie rose.

[it might sound l.a.m.e. but i like it better than the name i got]
i actually wanted to name [1of 5] kids thaat
____________________________________________________
i have to move out of houston.
it's stifling my creativity
maybe walking downtown without getting lost.


i think it's catchy
marie rose.
i'm not gonna like change my name on facebook or anything
but it will be my writing name
:D
i feel special maybe one day ill change my name

chopped n screwed

it started as normal conversation.
a simple hey, what's up? how you doing?
everything regular...the normal.
then i could see it in his eyes;
that natural burning desire
of heated animal instinct
his eyes pierced through me.
it was like i was completely stripped down.
bare- unable to move my feet.
i'm still in the hallway,
the brick walls are closing in on me
bringing us forbiddenly closer together
he goes first for my legs
that are glued together to hold the rest of me together
he's unaware of the thoughts
-the unadulterated thoughts lingering
and pulls himself closer with confidence
trying to do good i turn away
because i want too much for our lips
to touch and at that moment i knew
his hands gently tug at my chin
to release my lips from their moral stance
but the rest of me is weak
so i allow two soft unresponsive kisses
once he notices
i feel bad
he can tell something is wrong
but i merely let on-- i'm shy
so the talking commences
trivial mindless dribble
waiting for the next attack

haha...more another time.

now here's the break down.

hi.

my name is meagan.

if you wanna play with me you need tough skin.

...i'm amazing...

if you ask me what i am..my response is B-L-A-C-K

but to clear things up

My Father's Side
*My grandmother's grandfather was a white slave owner in Louisana. He later had an "affair" with one of his black slave wives, and they had a baby boy. When he died he left part of his land to his white-black son [my great grandfather]. Still to this day...my family lives on this land and we have our family reunions on it.
*My grandfather's mother was a french woman who came from Quebec on the Mississippi River to Louisiana and married my grandfather's father who was an half black-indian living on an indian reservation...

My Mother's side
*Her grandmother was a Spanish woman living in Louisiana...she married a black man living in LA!!
*Her grandfather was an ALSO an indian man living in Louisiana that married a half black half french woman.


i wrote another shade of black @ 16 cause i was so tried of being called light skin lol
my mom if you can see is the lightest person in the world
and she never stressed color to us
she taught us we are all equal and beautiful

Another Shade of Black
You look at me and say
Your skin is light brown
Smooth like caramel
With a yellow undertone
Like the sun that ilunminates the sky
But I say, It’s black like coal
That produces precious diamonds
Just like my people who were
Bent over from hard labor
Sick from disease
And chained down by discrimination
All you see is a light skin girl
Well, allow the sun the dance upon my face
Then kiss my cheeks with its rays
And color me dark
I will look like my people:
My hair kinky with thick, dark locks
And let it disguise my face
Brown being just a lighter shade of black
So when you see my brown skin
Remember it comes from a long line of black

besides being called boog. everyone in baytown knew me as RADIO RAHEEM

from Spike Lee's "Do the Right Thing"



cause i knew every song on the radio..no matter the station
nowadays... no is saying anything so i don't too much listen to the radio

HIGH SCHOOL WAS STRESSFUL
[i still want to go back]
i was awkward (acting and looking)

i made it though and meet some of the BESTEST PEOPLE EVER

i know i will be studying tomorrow so i blogged twice :D

you're welcome.

where in the hell am i?

Downtown Houston

Magical Part of the City or EVIL Labyrinth?

i effin got lost i did sooo many effin turn arounds
soo many lights
ONE WAY SIGNS
on coming traffic
i drove and drove up and down right turns and left turns
thought i was cool cause i found a lil spot i could park and prayed i wouldnt get towed
sooo i ran to the store
went in came out and then....dun dun dunnnnn
where in the hell did i park?
soooo i try to retrace my steps but i went soo fast i forgot
and if you know me i am good at finding the car
the song Lost- Gorilla Zoe goes through your head

Walking around looking for a way
But no one tells me which way to go
I'm caught up in a world
Elaborath a maze
Where yes men could easily be known
I ask them no questions
They give me no answers

but anywho....
there was a game happening tonight
so i could see families and happy freaking people
and i was alone - utterly alone
i.n.v.i.s.i.b.l.e
no one saw me crying as i spent 20 minutes searching for my car
i broke down crying in the middle of the street
when i found my car
i lost my mind i just fell to the ground
thanking God for helping make it
then all i could think about was
NO iPHONE gps to tell me where i was
crying in the streets with strange men talking to me

not a good week for me. NOT GOOD AT ALL

who is boog?

THIS IS BOOG BOOG

isn't she the cutest thing ;)

my entire childhood i was boog boog- mostly to the fam

now it's a few people call me just boog

my uncle (rip uncle gut) would call me book book :D

but yeah i still feel as though i am boog boog

the kid that would do cartwheels into old house and play in the yard

so i called my blogspot BOOGSBREAKDOWN

my inner kid...outter kid whatever.

Mourning for Vanity.

ohhhh... V.A.N.I.T.Y.

how i miss thee

where art thou?

if i EVER find who took you i'll fucking run over your ass.

now i have to pay for another phone

THAT'S MY INCOME TAX MONEY I WAS SUPPOSE TO USE ON MY CLOTHES

good times.

wahhhhhh...

attached to things that will perish

and ignored what should be cherished

life and love

i can't believe i lost my phone.

i could have lost a shirt

or a bracelet

not my iphone

it's like losing 1000 things in 1

phone. ipod. gamebox. media player. youtube bookmarks. facebook in my hand. aim. wack a mole...i nevr got to beat silver's record. itune & app store. all my contact #s. pictures.

ahhh......
i even thought of donating organs this week

and this is my PAYBACK!!!!!

i just want my phone back...that's not selfish