rejection.

oh, to be a dumb girl. [part i]

girls are so silly. we do the most stupid things for male attention. we try so hard for them to like us, practically jumping through hoopps. even simple things like texting.im-ing.calling become complicated when conversing with the opposite sex. we try to reply just like you. we see the message AS SOON as you send it. BUT if we reply too slow we seem too desperate, too fast uninterested. so in our mind we must calculate the time it took you to reply and match that time and make it seem like a normal situation instead of an intense game of don't come on too strong or too carefree. in actuality we are just happy you took time to message us, and wish you would focus your attention on us. even for just a few minutes.

example i
look,
he's online.
ok act cool.
wait..what the hell,
he can't actually see me.
so...
when's he going to chat me?
he can obviously see-
i'm online.
cause i can see him.
...what's taking him so long?
ok,
maybe if i update my status
i'll be at the top of his newsfeed
and when he refreshes his page he'll see me.
damn.still nothing.
oh no!
he's offline now.
why didn't he message me?
argh..
i messaged him last.
it's his turn.
this is pathetic.

why do we torture ourselves?
why can't we change this way of thinking?
how come the rules can't change in our favor?

we can't keep subjecting ourselves to this heartache and headache. we can't teach our daughters that this is sensible and that this is how men and women are cursed to interact. this is merely a woman's defense mechanism, shielding themselves from rejection. and yet, in the end it still seems like we're losing. we must learn to dominate the situation and be more aggressive. not scare him away aggressive or constantly text/im/call (whatever your thing is), but just don't be afraid to call him first. or to make that first move. guys do like it when girls take initative once and awhile. be fearless. maybe one day i'll take my own advice...tehe.

must we continue to act out this melodrama to find love?

dedicated to: kaylyn&enih. for inspiration. arilla. she liked it. so i posted it.