i'm waiting for the day all my bottled in emotions manifest themselves into a stomach ulcer.

all the days i try to forget- the moments i wish never happened

i can't erase them, as well as i can close my eyes and pretend it was all a dream.

as much as i write,
there are things i refuse to say aloud or to read on paper.

to deal with. to share.

they happened.
but i don't find many people who can hold my secrets and bad times.

i wish i could place these moments in a box with a weight and drop it in the pacific ocean.